I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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