Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!