Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I just googled if crying burns calories
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died