Texts From Last Night

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  (509): View more from Washington

  Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you

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  (509): Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you http://tfl.nu/tpo5
  Replies (30) Good night (13554) Bad night (797) Order T-Shirt
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.

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  (785): if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone. http://tfl.nu/lyyb
  Replies (31) Good night (774) Bad night (4610) Order T-Shirt
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  (516): View more from New York

  she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".

  (917): View more from New York City

  I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.

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  (516): she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag". (917): I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag. http://tfl.nu/7xie
  Replies (57) Good night (1205) Bad night (11241)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there

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  (515): I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there http://tfl.nu/h3ha
  Replies (38) Good night (4373) Bad night (712) Order T-Shirt
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  (985): View more from Louisiana

  At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.

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  (985): At least my shower head will respect me in the morning. http://tfl.nu/vri5
  Replies (32) Good night (4732) Bad night (1027) Order T-Shirt
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  (361): View more from Texas

  yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.

  (361): View more from Texas

  I just can't bring boyfriends home.

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  (361): yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable. (361): I just can't bring boyfriends home. http://tfl.nu/mnpp
  Replies (29) Good night (1017) Bad night (4537)
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  (514): View more from Quebec

  he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets

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  (514): he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets http://tfl.nu/d9we
  Replies (9) Good night (645) Bad night (5166) Order T-Shirt
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."

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  (781): She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared." http://tfl.nu/t3p1
  Replies (3) Good night (1878) Bad night (1024) Order T-Shirt
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?

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  (503): He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads? http://tfl.nu/30tf
  Replies (7) Good night (2635) Bad night (550) Order T-Shirt
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  (239): View more from Florida

  dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.

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  (239): dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me. http://tfl.nu/b0dd
  Replies (15) Good night (4128) Bad night (959) Order T-Shirt
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  (478): View more from Georgia

  First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?

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  (478): First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing? http://tfl.nu/cqnb
  Replies (1) Good night (1375) Bad night (738) Order T-Shirt
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.

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  (703): I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you. http://tfl.nu/i8ov
  Replies (5) Good night (1277) Bad night (355) Order T-Shirt
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  (213): View more from California

  Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  ... and if i was..

  (213): View more from California

  Fuck. You.

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  (213): Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten. (201): ... and if i was.. (213): Fuck. You. http://tfl.nu/ty6i
  Replies (5) Good night (1536) Bad night (305)
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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?

  (828): View more from North Carolina

  if not i want to bang those glasses off his face

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  (828): does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you? (828): if not i want to bang those glasses off his face http://tfl.nu/l0mr
  Replies (4) Good night (1213) Bad night (229)
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  (507): View more from Minnesota

  Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?

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  (507): Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at? http://tfl.nu/qw84
  Replies (7) Good night (405) Bad night (187) Order T-Shirt

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