My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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