Whoa Z and x make the same sound
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize