He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
