He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Reggie can tackle my bush.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
