I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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