Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
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