I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
