All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
