So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
