he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
