I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
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I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
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She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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