Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
