Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
