so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
