This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
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