I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
