No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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