We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I just gift wrapped bread.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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