I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
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i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
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STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
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