69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
