Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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