Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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