I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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