I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
