thus making me awesome and them whores
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
