I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
