if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
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