Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
