I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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