I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
