On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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