I'm really into asian looking animals
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
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