my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
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