Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
My cat gives me a boner
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize