i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I'm too high and old for this...
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize