Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
and you fell through a lawn chair
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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