First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize