party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
