dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
