I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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