Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize