around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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