so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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