I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
