She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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