halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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