We won't sleep together?
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
