so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Randomize