You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize