so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
