Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
