Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Randomize
