You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
